Breakups Hurt But the Right Therapist Can Help You Heal
Love is a beautiful emotion that is often expressed in images of romantic songs, couples watching a sunset, and sharing chocolates and flowers to express their love for each other. This article explores how grief can manifest in your life in five stages after separation from your loved one. It also explains how a breakup therapist can help you get back on track with life through break up counselling.
But romantic relationships are not always unicorns and rainbows. It is common for two people in love to part ways which leads to a painful phase accompanied by grief.
It can be even as hurtful as the death of somebody close to you, which is why couples who break away from a relationship need to seek therapy.
What are the 5 Stages of Grief?
1. Denial
Dr Elizabeth Kübler-Ross mentions denial as the first stage of grief in her 5-stage model of grief. You might have observed somebody feeling numb and taking time to process his or her emotions after something extremely tragic has happened.
They act as if nothing has happened and try to convince themselves that what they believe is true. It is the stage when you deny what has actually happened, to cope with the emotional pain that stems from a loss or separation.
The emotions that arise during the denial stage include numbness, shock, confusion, panic, and disbelief. The person who goes through this stage tries to avoid anything that reminds them of the breakup and stays busy to avoid thinking about it. Drug addiction and neglect of self are ways to cope when in this stage of grief.
2. Anger
“Oh Lord, why is this happening to me? This isn’t fair!”
A person who experiences separation from somebody they loved so much will definitely feel angry at their situation.
The word grief is usually associated with sadness or misery but anger is an emotion that prominently arises when dealing with grief.
People in this stage can experience a range of emotions including frustration, irritability, resentment, and loss of control.
They question why something happened, especially if it was an event that occurred unpredictably. They try to control the environment temporarily through the assertion of anger.
A person who experiences anger as a stage of grief will express aggression physically or verbally and can also indulge in self harming actions. Help them reach out to a breakup therapist to avoid such situations.
3. Bargaining
If only I had never spoken like that to her…
A person who has been in this stage of grief often think of things that could have been done differently. They try to negotiate with themselves or their family members, or with a higher power like God. They wish they had treated their partner differently so that a breakup could have been avoided.
They keep on thinking about an alternate situation in which something could have been done to handle the incident in a better way.
Some people will also bargain by saying that they will do anything to reverse whatever had happened. For example, you could say you will quit a bad habit if you get back the person who you broke up with.
4. Depression
Finding yourself feeling sad and hopeless is normal in this stage of grief. You stop doing things that you once cared about and you can even find it difficult to do basic things like getting out of bed and taking care of yourself.
Symptoms of depression include crying most of the time and trying to escape reality by sleeping. People in this stage can feel overwhelmed by basic tasks and lonely and low.
They also feel tired and low on energy and try to seclude themselves rather than trying to seek help. t is a misconception that people experience one stage of grief at a single time which is not necessarily true. You can experience symptoms of depression at any stage and may not experience them at all in the whole process.
If you are somebody who is depressed or know someone who is going through the stage after a breakup, connect with a breakup therapist near you. It is important to let people help you and also accept your own emotions as valid.
5. Acceptance
Acceptance is the last stage of grief mentioned by Dr Elizabeth. In this stage, the person processing grief comes to reality with the fact that they have lost someone.
It doesn’t mean that everything has come back to normal but that they have accepted the reality. The stage is one of the most important phases as it lets you move forward after you have broken up with your partner.
You start rebuilding your life and try to understand that there is nothing much you can do about it. It is necessary to keep in mind that not everyone reaches an acceptance stage especially in the case of a traumatic event.
Common emotions that one experiences during the stage include relief, hope, strength, and anxiety. Consulting a breakup therapist in case of separation from a loved one will help you feel at ease during this stage.
Get Professional Help From a Breakup Counseling Centre
Grief usually arises from feelings of loneliness and loss. But with professional help and therapeutic support, you can try to manage your emotions and heal through a few coping mechanisms.
a) A breakup therapist listens to you without judgement to provide you the required support. They offer assistance with self care and grounding to manage your feelings.
b) You start becoming more accepting of your mental state and realise that things will get better. The therapist will guide you on recollecting past examples of resilience that you showed before meeting your partner.
c) They provide you an open space where you can talk about your feelings and receive additional insights that can help you come to terms with your separation.
d) You will stop fighting your feelings as a therapist will help you identify them and provide advice on how to experience them fully.
Contact a Breakup Therapist in Mumbai
If you are someone based in Mumbai and is going through a similar situation of separation, you can reach out to a counseling centre like Wownow. They are a team of qualified and empathic psychiatrists who understand how a breakup can affect you on deeper levels.
Contact a therapist today if you are looking to improve your state of mind and wish to resume a happy life.
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